1st draft

folllowing upon the reading and analysing of  Roxane Beth Johnson's poem Birth/Rebirth we brainstormed specific images from the Keswick winter retreat to compose a 1st draft.  Here is my attempt (please comment and give me some critique):

smiles, tears, microphone, guitarhands and drumstickmelody
from above heads gathered in arms
shoulders merge with hair
like a knot, or better still a rose
whose bud opens by confession
now blooms with compassion

tears water tender shoot
while the garden listens
glistens with recognition of
self, thorns and petals
protection, regection projected
and received